What Does "Dating" Mean in 2008?

OK, readers, this one is for you. There are literally hundreds of you around the world still reading this blog. I know some of you visit once every week or two.

I have a question for you: What is dating? Or what does going out on a date mean and how is that compared to getting to know someone?  Are they the same or different? Is going out the same thing as dating?

I'm asking this question because twice in the last few weeks I've had different persons laugh at my use of the word 'dating.' They didn't offer an explanation other than it sounded funny, so I assume they are implying my idea of dating is, well, out-dated.

So be it. Both events were revealing lifeshocks, worthy of some reflection. So I thought I'd tap the wisdom of the crowd. That means you :) please.

Tell me your thoughts - regardless of your age. In fact I'd like a range of thoughts, male and female, younger and older. You'll help me fill in the gaps and hopefully be less embarrassed in my use of the 'word.'

Write a comment on the blog. Or if you're uncomfortable with that, send me an email: tom.parish AT Gmail.com

Hope to hear from you soon.

Tom

Comments

[Allison]

I've been single for a number of years. That means I've been 'dating' for quite a while. I don't use that term, really; I guess I say I'm 'seeing' someone.

However, because I'm not really looking to casually date for extended periods--either the guy is really interesting and it gets a lot more serious (in which case he becomes my 'boyfriend') or he may quickly turn into a friend (if we like each other sufficiently) if there isn't a romantic spark by date 4 or 5--I don't have much need to figure out a term for it.

This raises the question of how quickly people expect things to move.

I guess that once a guy and I decide not to see other people, I consider him my boyfriend. Usually, not seeing other people means the physical aspect has developed to the point where seeing other people doesn't feel right. The label 'dating' feels too casual for this development, to me.

Interesting to have to think through these things. Don't know if that helps, I think it may be a pretty personal thing. If the 'dating' shoe fits you, then wear it, I say! :)

[Mari Hall]

Tom,

It is so refreshing to see your question posted. I also had the same reaction from people when I said I was first dating Gary. I don't know, but it seems in this day and time that dating is like going steady. Now, that really dates me! I think that when people are getting to know each other it means they may also be seeing, hanging out or getting to know others too.
The last time I was in Austin with you and Lily I remember saying when you have not been "out there" in a long time you soon discover the language and the rules have been changed. Just dive in and start to swim and enjoy yourself being the opportunity/ life shock when you ask them on a date. I like how that sounds much better than... Can we hang out together?

I sure do love, honor and respect you.

Mari