We meet ourselves time and time again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.
-C. G. Jung
Ever have one of those days you walk around feeling that welling-up in your chest, with your lips quivering at times and you just want to cry? That's how I've felt lately. Partly it's due to all that has passed or been lost or changed this year, along with some heartbreak along the way, both personally and at my work. I'm finally feeling on the other side of this with a deeper sense of gratitude for what has been given and what tomorrow will bring. I can see I get scared wondering what will be next in life, as it often seems so unpredictable and I find myself,again, thinking I can self-direct the end result, ha!
While working out today I reaed something that just put me over this edge. I was thinking about how much I had pushed for certain things this year 'to be so,' and suddenly I got that I'm not in control nor am I in charge. I've been here before. I know this at one level, yet a part of me doesn't want to let go. Surely you've felt that yourself?
I'm reminded that all I have is how I bring myself to the challenges and changes that I meet in life. Somehow this hit me with greater clarity today. And from what poured out, besides all the tears, was a deep sense of gratitude for being alive and well, and blessed with wonderful children and friends and a vision to make a difference in this world.
Partly this opening was caused from my getting out of the house to work out. And to help me stay in my body while walking on the treadmill, I listen to an album that has a sacred meaning for me from my early days with Sharon. We used to listen to it together and sing it out loud as we moved around the house. I miss sharing the depth of those sacred feelings. There are no words, really, that capture the 'it' we experienced as we listened and moved and felt this music. You have to be aware of how to allow 'it' to be, while you just connect and feel. I found myself back in that zone this afternoon.
I like the entire album but If there was ever a song that could put me deeply into all these feelings, it's Polonaise by Vangelis - Private Collection album.
Here are the lyrics; however, you truly must listen to the music because Vangelis has this ability to put chords together that resonate so deeply in your heart, causing a kind of shift in awareness and consciousness, in my opinion.
Wishing you the best of what you bring to your life.
Tom
POLONAISE
| If you just take my sense of freedom If you just take away my home You can't ever hope to win me This I'll tell you for sure There is strength in the common people For the people is all we really are Young and old, the wisest and the lowly Each indeed is 'Holy' in the 'Light of Love' When the 'Word' comes I will be waiting Like the dove that shines he prays for peace Some have waited what seems a lifetime Some are waiting now to be released For the moment we have this freedom We will choose the way our hearts will move All the people lost will find their way | <> Give that chance today Hear and I will pray No, not for nothing hearts will not be broken As long as we are open Our hearts will make us free Free for the Earth man Free for the millions In the 'Glory' all will come to 'Truth' No aggression, that we leave behind us To be replaced By 'You' For tomorrow another morning For tomorrow another day In our children there's that sense of freedom Help them use it wisely I will pray |
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