The Parish Family Blog

Visitors to This Site

I noticed tonight that we're seeing 250-300 visits per day to this site. WOW ...

There have been more than 75,000 visits, total.

Based on your notes and comments I'll be posting more pictures of Sharon and more stories about her and me and how we meet. And we'll have some fun stuff to post from Lily and Justin and Lauren. It's going to be very full year coming up, with the 'big kids' getting married in 2007. How exciting!

A longer-term project is to pull together as many pictures, audios and videos as I can lay my hands on and create a visual album of Sharon's Life. I have some video tapes from 16 years ago when we were in Houston together that are just so cute. For those of you who remember being on those tapes, don't worry; I'll ask your permission first :)

Enjoy your day today.
Tom

Remembering Those Final Moments Together With Sharon

This morning I received an unexpected gift that brought me back to one of the most tender moments I know. Dreena sent me a poem that captures so delicately the 'essence' of what was occuring those last few hours with Sharon in her room at the hospital where Dreena and Gerry stayed every evening for nearly two weeks non-stop. This was the final night with Sharon that went into the early hours of May 31. I read and reread this poem many times throughout today. Each time I read it I feel Sharon and receive more meaning from it. Thank you, Dreena.

From Dreena:
I wrote this poem as an expression of my experience of Sharon's last moments of mortal life.  In the past few days, I have been appreciating Sharon's presence in my life through physical expressions of her personality (such as things she made and other tangible memorabilia) and through the life of Sharon as expressed in Lily and Justin.  This is my attempt to sculpt something comprehensible out of an unbearably brief and quiet goodbye.

 

"a breath"

we passed in the night
like an exhaled breath 
slowly wisping out
until every last "uh" of it was gone;
silently
like a glance made without looking
as I went on into my future
and you went on into yours.
and I cannot now see you
except 
in backward glances
where I see you as
in a foggy mirror.
sometimes
I do not recognize you
when I see you there.
I see you in a dress
lovingly made with rick-rack
and a photo 
and a daughter
and in your tarnished pin--
that I do not wear but only hold and polish -- 
and today
I long to go back to that night
on which we each
went to our future
and hold again your hand
and hear again your breath
as it wisps out 
to the last.

Makeover for Lily's Bedroom

In this short video we catch up with Lily in her new bedroom. Many thanks to so many friends and relatives who made this possible over the summer. Looks to me like Lily is ready for school.

Tom
aka Dad

Knock Knock ...

Who's there?

I'm curious about the readership and what you want to know these days.

Post a comment or send a note or call me up personally if you wish. I'd like to know your thoughts on what's next.

More pictures and stories about Sharon - younger and older?

More about my life ... more about Lily and Justin and Lauren?

Maybe it's time to let this blog rest with occasional posts just about Sharon. And, consider creating a separate blog about the family goings-on.

I'm curious what you would find of value and of interest to you personally.

Appreciatively
Tom

Sharon's Ashes in Avebury

Nickee Higley sent me this note today along with the pictures. Justin had given her one of the packets of ashes while at WOW this year. I know I need to get the other ones out ... I will in time.
---------

Dear Tom and Justin,

I wanted to let you both know that I took Sharon with me down to one of my most precious, magical places and scattered some of her ashes there. It seems like a very appropriate place....

It is called Avebury and it is a sacred stone circle similar to Stonehenge but slightly less famous. The stone circles encircle a small village and it has always been very special to me. For many it has a spiritual significance of being a place of feminine energy and power. It is said to be the feminine to Stonehenge's masculine and is one of the most sacred sites for many pagans/druids/spiritual folk in the UK.

I took Sharon to three beautiful trees that stand in a triangle in the circle. As you can see in the photos I attached, you can see their roots coming down the hill above ground. (They are so beautiful they were even just used in an advert for shampoo that works on the roots!!) I have had my own Reiki Mastery attunements here as well as giving many others theirs. I sprinkled Sharon's ashes amongst the roots. I sensed her adding her unique and amazing female power to the earth, embedding into the roots there, whilst being given strength to fly on, from this place.....just wanted you both to know.

Much love to both of you,

Nickee xx

Music of the Spheres Chimes and Remembering Sharon Parish

I've posted a podcast that is a tribute to Sharon. There is a short passage of her talking on a WOW conference call at the beginning of the podcast where she tells a story that is just - so Sharon. This passage helps convey something I remember that is so special about Sharon. See http://www.talkingportraits.com. Hope you enjoy the podcast. Please let others know.

More information on the chimes is at http://www.musicofspheres.com.

Tom

About the Hospital Bills

This last week I received a number of inquires regarding the hospital and doctor bills from Sharon's 15-day stay at South Austin Hospital in May.

Thank you, everyone, for staying with me on this. I did call the hospital and the insurance company to get an update.

Bottom line is - I owe $114,000 to the hospital and there is roughly $30,000+ in other fees for the team of doctors that looked after Sharon. There is no resolution on all this yet. I have received some wonderful advice from Susan Jacoby who understands these matters. We've reviewed Sharon's policy to get a feel for what we think will be paid.  It's so hard to really tell, though. We are supposed to get statement from the insurance company after August 22 regarding their review of the bills. What we'll ultimately owe at that time - still remains unclear and frankly pretty worrisome for me.

I think patience and optimism are important at this point.

The Sharon Parish Memorial Fund has ~$30,000 and as I said we've paid for Lily's school this year, thanks to your generousity.  I expect to use the fund for hospital bills and for Lily to complete her education at Waldorf. I remain hopeful.

So thanks for staying in touch on this. Gerry Tischler was over this weekend helping with Thank You cards for your donations. There were many and if we missed you, I apologize. Just let me know on that. It's important to us that we get back to you with our appreciation. 

All the best
Tom

Podcast with Maria Trombly in Shanghai China

Just want to share this note with you because I'm so excited to get this particular show posted. I traveled to China numerous time while working for Motorola in the '90s. I want to take Lily and Lauren and Justin someday so they have a feel for what China is all about.

I've been mulling over the idea of doing a regular show on living and doing business in China. So I've been looking for someone to partner with on this concept.

I'm curious what you think of the show and concept, so feel free to shoot me a note if you feel compelled at tom@4webresults.com.

Here is the background on this podcast with Maria in Shanghai China:

In 2004 Maria moved her family to China and she is now based in Shanghai reporting on tech issues and China’s evolving securities markets.

So here’s what fascinates me: what is it like—really—to be a Westerner living and working in a country the size of China—which incidentally is the 4th-largest country in the world, is the size of the US and has a population of 1.3 billion—and they are just now coming online and growing as fast as Silicon Valley grew in the '90s.

China is the biggest news story of our time and it is attracting entrepreneurs, visionaries and investors of all stripes—Maria is in the middle of it all.

This is the first of what I hope will be several conversations with Maria talking about what it's like to be an American journalist, a Western woman working and living in a rapidly growing China rich with opportunities and challenges. What are the myths and the realities? --the food, the taxis, the language, the business customs—be prepared to be surprised and inspired.

I ask Maria about her kids and how it's going with them in school there. I was curious what they think of being in an all-Chinese school.

Tom

I Want a Mini-Me

The last week has been just crazy. I wake up and it seems I'm farther behind than I was when I went to sleep, with 'stuff' to do, calls to return, bills, piles of paperwork, transportation requests, Tinkerbell was sick, emails, visitors, work and ... life.

Ever feel like that?

Geeesh, I thought I knew what single life was like from Sharon being gone for a few weeks at a time. It's all real different when you're very much the 'only' one with a child. Thank goodness for the love and support from the family.

It occurred to me that I need/want a personal assitant. Ha ... I wish. Well maybe, but I'll add that to the list .... lol.

OK, truthfully, I am making progress and we're all happy and healthy here in Austin TX (though right now I'm feeling pretty grumpy). Yet there is still a big weight hanging over our heads regarding the hospital bills. The new word now is wait until the end of August and the insurance company will have a final judgment. My cell phone was turned off due to a miscommunication, and I'm behind on invoicing ... argh. Oh, how I wish I had a few hours of uninterrupted time to simply do some audio editing for new shows I have in the can.

I'm finding myself in and out of feeling jammed up with lifeshocks, and at times it seems like an endless stream of advice and offers to help. I'm appreciative of the offers, but often it's just me needing some space and time to remind myself all is fine, and to look for a way to slow down and forgive myself when I'm upset. To remind myself this too will pass and to remember life is short. Find some time to be me.

Thanks for letting me vent a bit here. I feel better getting that out.

Tom

I'm missing Sharon

Yesterday and today, I've been missing Sharon more than usual. My sister brought over some wonderful pictures of Sharon at a party they attended when they were in their 20s. Sharon was so beautiful and remained beautiful even as she nearly reached 50.

My sister, Patti, introduced me to Sharon and I fell for her at first glance. It wasn't long before I was asking her to lunch and then dinner. Well, that's all another story.

Lately I've been missing Sharon's voice. I've been just wanting to hear her talk with me on the phone and speak with me at the house. I can hear her kind, loving voice in my head, and I want to hear it in my ears - for real. I'm still shy about listening to the audio tapes of her talking. I could, and I don't.

Justin and I talked today. He was over helping me with something at the house and we both started talking about how much we miss mom.

I told her that at her chimes this evening.

I love you, Sharon.
Tom