The Parish Family Blog

Bill Boothe on Building Conscious Lives and Environments

For those of you at WOW 1 this year you'll recognize the name Bill Boothe. I just completed a podcast with him on Building Conscious Lives and Environments on TalkingPortraits.com.  It might get you thinking in new directions. Sure did me.

Enjoy
Tom

PS - Today I did an onsite recording with the owner of Music of the Spheres Chimes in Austin. What a fun interview. Very thoughtful conversation too. I had a chance to record a number of chimes as well. One of them hung from the ceiling of their warehouse area, and the sections of the chimes were 20 feet or more in length and 5 inches in diameter. The notes were so low you just barely heard them; however, you felt them in your body up and down your chakras. We spoke about the magical and sacred nature of chimes. I told her about my loss of Sharon. I'll have this recording up in a week or so.

Sunday

Looks like we have over 20 replies to that last question on giving feedback around 'cleaning out' one's home, or not. I think I'll take back that comment about there being a decline in readership. What a series of heartfelt replies and such great advice. I learned a lot. Seems I hit a chord with that.

We did sell a number of pieces of furniture this week on Craigslist. My goodness, is that an amazing place to sell things locally. It happens quickly.  Some pieces I was happy to see leave, and a couple I found myself asking why am I selling them because I was feeling some hurt around seeing them being sold and then packed away in a stranger's car.  That was a surprise to me. In retrospect, everything found a good home, and both Lily and I are pleased to have more room and less clutter in the home.

Lily's new bed frame showed up on Saturday so her room is 100% complete. I'll get a picture up. She's so proud and excited about keeping it clean. I am too for her.  I've felt that way about the changes in my room.

I reae I haven't been posting much. You may recall I have guests this week and again this coming week. Friends and relatives and, well, just returning to a more full life.

One change I made was to release the demand I was carrying to keep two careers running simultaneously. I am doing more and more media creation. Primarily audio podcast production with some dabbling of video on the horizon. My primary account sponsors three shows that I produce and I have TalkingPortraits (my own show).  All these endeavors keep me happily employed, busy and creatively engaged.

The second 'career,' if you will, or business focus, is SEO (search engine optimization). I've gotten good at it. I've played a role in helping dozens of companies become very successful on the web with my Internet strategies. But I reaed after seeing "CLICK" with Adam Sandler, so much of my life was eaten up with trying to work so much that I wasn't providing space and time to relax, enjoy and be with more people. 

So I'm revisioning my 4webresults.com focus on search engine marketing so that it takes considerably less time. In fact, very little, excect for some strategic work with clients on occasion. What I want to have happen now is to find a greater level of trust in myself and life. I want to trust that my experience and reputation and relationships with others will bring me what I need, without the constant demand of preparing for the worst and believing I must working multiple 'large' projects and career paths just to be happy. 

I'll keep you posted on what life brings me along the way :)

Love
Tom

Tom

Give Me Your Thoughts ...

Readership has started to decline some and that's to be expected. Life goes on despite our losses, though I still wake up thinking of Sharon and she's so present to me everywhere here in our home. Despite the changes I've made in the house, there are places I will not change for a long, long time that remind me of our love and her creative spirit.

But with that, let's get some interaction going now. I want to hear from you. Let's look forward together on the issue of keeping versus getting rid of so much stuff sitting around the house.

As you know from my previous entries,  I've started cleaning up, throwing out, selling and giving away things here at the house. Mainly old furniture, old toys, old beds, paper things, books and electrical stuff that doesn't work or whatever.  It's quite a process. Waves and waves of stuff go and the next day I look around and, by golly, there is still so much lying around.  I stop and wonder at times, Where did all this stuff come from and do I still need it?

We've been updating some of the rooms. When we do, we move everything to another room, which causes quite a mess.  One thing I'm noticing is that nearly all the 'stuff' that is moved hasn't been touched in months, even years.  When I look at it I don't see myself using it anymore. When I ask Lily, she sometimes wants things kept for nostalgic reasons, which I understand. I have some of that. Stuff gets moved around from room to room and then up to the attic where it sits for years. Then what? How do you decide what to keep and what to let go of?

When do you start letting go versus packing things away you know you're not going to need or use?

I'm in favor of letting go now of more and more so there is a space for me to be calm with less clutter - seems it would be easier to keep clean (for me). A place that's open and connecting that has a sense of flow. 

Seems to me the legacy I might create will be more about the impact I have on the relationships I build with people than the boxes of junk, stuff, books, and frankly most of the keepsakes that are stacked in so many corners of all the rooms. Will my family remember me by the stuff or the time I spent with them and the things we did together?

What's your thinking?

Have you moved around a alot and let go of things? Are you at a place in your life where keeping things is important to you, or do you find it better to let go?  Are your closets and cabinets and spaces under your beds crammed with stuff you don't need?

Share you comments here on the blog instead of writing me. I'd like to see what you're thinking and what your experiences are, regardless of your age. What works, what doesn't?

Tom

Current Reading and So Forth

It's Saturday night. Lily has a friend over for a few days.  Lily's room is nearly totally transformed now. I need an updated shot of her new living environment. I'm very proud of what she's created for herself.

My current reading is After the Ecstacy, the Laundry - How the Heart Grows While on the Spiritual Path by Jack Kornfield (also author of Path of the Heart that I want to get).  This book was recommended to me before attending A Sacred Path 2 in October. Not a required reading sort of thing; just something in the same theme as what A Sacred Path was presenting. I'm liking it - a lot. I'm taking my time. I found the book in Sharon's book corner and I remember her reading it. In fact, I reaed that all the books she read for The Sixth Sense, The Pearl, and A Sacred Path are there. As I glance through them I am starting to see why she changed and deepened so much these last two years. There is a part of me that wishes I had taken those courses with her. I remember so vividly her asking me in the kind hopeful way she did.

I have a cup of hot tea with me while sitting in bed. Tinkerbell is curled up next to me, asleep. It's past her night-night time.

The last week was a busy one. I was gone most of the week for a staff meeting with my primary business account in Houston.  I've been home since Friday afternoon and it does feel good to be back. I'm quite the home-boy, really.

The house is slowly transforming. Mainly we're finishing an idea to update the house that Sharon, Justin, Lily and I have had in mind for the last two years. I'm selling that older furniture this week, and just the act of getting those big pieces out of the house has opened up the space. My room is done, Lily's room is done.

How am I doing? I'm missing Sharon. It started with a dream early this morning. I was searching for her in a grocery store. A small one with high shelves and it seemed like an out-of-town store that I was not familiar with.  I saw her out of my peripheral vision and our eyes meet. She was delighted and so  was I. We talked like we hadn't seen each other in quite a while. When I woke up I was a bit wobbly and wanting Sharon to return home.

And today seemed to float by in an strange, dreamy way in general. I missed two important appointments. I think I'm moving through another phase and I'm not sure what it is.  Maybe I'm more tired than I thought from this past week.

Anyway, this coming week is going to be full of connecting. We're having a potluck on Wednesday to honor Gerry Tischler for all her help over the last couple of months, and she's officially retired as a nurse, so we'll make it a double celebration (from the family).  More friends and relatives coming to visit and stay this week and next so that will be fun now that the house is starting to transform.

So much to be thankful for in this life. Live life fully, my friends. Enjoy what you feel and how you show up in all the glory of who you are.

Love
Tom

"Click" with Adam Sandler

Lily and I just returned home from watching "Click" with Adam Sandler, and a host of other stars, actually, like Billy Crystal. What a gem of a movie.  From watching the trailers I thought it was going to be another goofy Sandler movie. Was I ever wrong on that ...

Julie Demaree suggested I would like it. Lily and I completely enjoyed it together along with a lot of laughter.

You'll view your life differently after seeing this movie. I'll not spoil it except for mentioning the idea that a remote control could symbolically be so helpful in seeing how we let our automatic behaviors drive us.  It's the kind of insights I recall so vividly from the More To Life (Life Training) program.

A young monk asked the Master:

"How can I ever get emancipated?"

The Master replied:

"Who has ever put you in bondage?"

Enjoy
Tom and Lily

Sharon Parish's Chimes Talking To Us ...

Yesterday marks two months since Sharon's passing at our workout at Gold's Gym.  I have been thinking about her a lot since Sunday. Earlier today the phone was ringing in the house and I had a wave of thick desire come over me. It was an indulgent wish that Sharon's voice would be on the phone when I picked it up. I tried to squelch the feeling. It hurt to not think of her; it hurt to think of her answering.  I just leaned into the feelings and let them in fully, regardless of liking them or not. I miss Sharon. 

This afternoon I took this little video of Sharon talking with your chimes. God, I love those chimes. What a beautiful gift.

Tom

Lily's Bedroom Makeover

It all started over a year ago. Sharon, along with a lot of input from Justin and even Lily, began updating the house. It started with pulling the old carpets out and putting down a wood floor in some areas and FLOR tiles in other parts of the house (like Lily's room and the guest bedroom).  As home projects go, this one is taking a lot longer than expected. Lately it's getting more exciting and fun, despite a few gaps in memory regarding Sharon's overall vision. She had such a knack for artistic layout, colors and fabrics. She could assemble very complicated ideas and take them all to a store in her head. I never could figure out how she did that.

We're on the home stretch now with Lily's room. We've got it painted. Here's how the last couple of days went with Julie Demaree, Grandma Gerry, Jenny Meadows, Anna, Caroline and Lily all pitching in. She has a new bed frame coming in a few weeks.

second coat - DONE.

Why Lily Attends Austin Waldorf School - "Creativity"

It's an idea worth spreading from a talk given be Sir Ken Robinson ...

http://www.ted.com/tedtalks/tedtalksplayer.cfm?key=ken_robinson&flashEnabled=1

If there was one topic that came up often in the private conversations between Sharon and me, it was the importance of creativity in our lives (all of us, not just our children's).

We feel deep gratitude to Julie Demaree for her almost insistence that Lily (when she was around 5) go to the Austin Waldorf School for her education. We agreed, but it took a couple of years for us to really "get" how important our decision was. And the little movie clip below by Sir Ken Robinson drives this home and has helped me see that my instincts have been right; that this new world of ours is going to need people who have learned (been taught how) to highly develop their innovation and creativity.

Now, let me explain that these were no academic discussions between Sharon and myself. Just conversations at night before going to bed, or sometimes long talks during drives across Texas - you know what I mean. We wondered what was going on with Lily and the other children at the Austin Waldorf School that was so, well, inspiring. Why did they seem so creative and present and articulate in their daily lives? So at ease with themselves and others?

I often did not think that Sharon really grasped how innately creative she was.  But that's not my point here.  What we noticed as we grew in our relationship with our children was how transformative it was in people's lives to be given a chance to express their creativity at any age. We reaed while Lily was in her younger years at Waldorf how important it was for her personal development to have an emphasis on creativity in dance, music, art and drama.

Sharon and I felt deeply that the education at the Austin Waldorf School is an oasis of opportunity for children to become innovative, thoughtful and creative citizens of the future, regardless of their ultimate career choices - technical (i.e., engineering- or science-oriented), or social science or art. Whatever they chose, their happiness and success will be impacted by their ability to express their creativity. We noticed that each year there are roughly 22-24 graduating seniors at the Austin Waldorf School and all of them who want to go to college are offered scholarships. It's clear the university system is seeking young adults with a varied creative background that is balanced with traditional academics.

Sharon often involved herself in Seven Days of Creation, an advanced course for the More to Life program, and when she returned from teaching those trainings she was like a solar system of excitement.

She and I felt so strongly about Lily's education at Waldorf that we made a pact between us. We would sell everything -- cars, our home and so forth -- for Lily to remain at Waldorf (provided she wanted to do so).

Well, Lily is going to start high school at the Austin Waldorf School in September. What's also true is that it looks like her entire remaining education at the Austin Waldorf School is paid for -- THANKS TO YOU! I am so happy about this. We're still waiting for the other shoe to drop regarding hospital insurance. I'm hopeful it will be reasonable and all will be fine.

So having said all this - I want you to watch and listen carefully to Sir Ken Robinson, who is a leading expert on innovation and human resources. In this talk, he makes an entertaining (and thought-provoking) case for creating an education system that nurtures creativity, rather than undermines it. (Recorded February, 2006, in Monterey, California)

Here it is!

http://www.ted.com/tedtalks/tedtalksplayer.cfm?key=ken_robinson&flashEnabled=1

Enjoy.
Tom

What's a Podcast?

Every Friday a new podcast is posted on Enterpriseleadership.org.  I work with a group of people that help make the site work. Dana Farver is the managing editor, and between the two of us we create opportunities to interview a new person, typically a CIO (chief information officer) or author, on topics relating to information technology for enterprise-scale companies. We started amost exactly one year ago. I've recorded and produced now nearly 50 interviews.

Every Friday we post a new one. I just thought you might want to see one use of Podcasting for sharing best practices in larger companies. I enjoy doing these interviews and appreciate BMC Software's sponsorship to make it happen. There is no advertising at all, just an interesting and educational interview on IT topics.

You already know about www.talkingportraits.com - which is my personal site for interviews of a wide range of topics. I have interviews planned that include Roy Whitten (co-founder of the More To Life program), the maker of the Sharon Chimes, Bill Boothe and other folks that I need to reconnect with now that I'm back in the podcasting saddle. If you know of anyone you think would be fascinating and educational, let me know!

Here is my studio (Justin built it for me last fall).

Appreciatively
Tom

This Week in Review

In a word - lighter - that's how I feel this week. I'm up to date on bills and Sharon's Memorial Fund is growing still. It's looking like Lily is going to have no worries through high school, provided the health insurance company comes through as planned. I'll have to wait a few more weeks to really know the final impact there. But overall, I feel blessed and full of gratitude for the way life is providing for the family. We're in good health and feeling more joy and happiness lately.

Lily has been at a volleyball summer camp at UT most of the week. She did it last year too.  Seemed to really enjoy it again. They work them hard from 7am to 7pm. I can tell she's really getting better at volleyball - I feel proud.

Justin and Juliet are off to Nova Scotia to visit Juliet's sister who has a newborn.

Lily is focusing on getting her room painted on Saturday. We have many little angels decending on our home again to help get Lily's room completed in the next few days (Thank you, Gerry, Julie and Jenny). When Justin returns we'll get the new flooring down and Elfa Organizers in her closets.  We're NOT putting the old furniture back, so her room is going to feel a lot larger. Her desk is going into one of her closets so that's opening up even more room.

I'm planning on a major house clearing of old furniture. If you're in the Austin area and you're looking for some furniture let me know.  I'm anxious to find new homes for these pieces.  I'm taking pictures tonight and tomorrow to post on Craigslist. I'm going to set everything out on the front porch and pray it goes quickly.

I'm inviting people to come visit us now, so if you're looking to make it by Austin let me know. We'll have an updated spare room soon, and the house will be less cluttered and disorganized.  I'm wanting to have folks over for meals and conversation --  so don't be shy about asking.  Now, if you're going to stay a few days you'd better be ready to help out in the yard  :)  There is much to do in that area.

Looks like the last week of July will be busy with out-of-town guests. I'm excited. I've already had some wonderful invites for lunch and dinner with old friends wanting to reconnect. I am thankful and blessed to have so many wonderful and close friends.

My sister and her family are headed here the first week of August.

OK, it's time to head for bed. All the best.
Tom

PS - I forgot to mention. I started back to Aikido this week after nearly a year's absence. I practiced and then taught Aikido over a 15-year period. Last year I had my first real injury that kept me out, then Sharon had surgery in October. The two of us had been going to Gold's Gym since December so I wasn't making time for Aikdio. But, I'm back and it feels right.  I missed it, and even more importantly I missed the community of friends there.

Sharon's Ashes Finding Their Way Around the World Soon

This week I started spreading Sharon's ashes. Gerry was thoughtful in her packaging of the ashes in mailing folders so we can mail some of them. We have a few set aside for the far corners of the earth where Sharon has traveled -- in the USA, UK, South Africa and New Zealand. For those of you in these areas who knew Sharon well, please send me an email if you're interested. I'll send you some of her ashes so you can spread them in your area. Would love to get a picture of the area you spread them around and any stories about her being there.

I opened the first packet and her ashes all through our neigbhorhood during one of my early morning walks this week. I remember feeling relieved and uplifted after that walk. I put some ashes all around her chimes too.

So in rememberance to Sharon, here are some pictures that are near and dear to my heart from 2004.

Justin and Sharon

Sharon (laughing in that wonderful way she laughs), Lauren and Lily

Tom getting a loving kiss on the cheek. My eyes start to water when I see this picture.

Back from Way of a Warrior in Georgia

What a beautiful place to hold a 6-day course that offers such a powerful personal transformation. We stayed at www.cohuttasprings.com. It's about a 2.5-hour drive north of Atlanta.

Justin was there two weeks, for both WOW2 and WOW1. Lily and I were there from last Wednesday to Sunday. The team graciously allowed me to come and go so I could be both connected with them and be able to dedicate a lot of time to Lily for our vacation. We did all sorts of fun things - canoing, hiking and a trip to Chattanooga, Tennessee, to see two amazing aquariums.

The closing ceremonies for Way of a Warrior were powerful for me on many personal and spiritual levels. I am thankful for the dedicated time to honor Sharon for all her contributions over the last 15 years of coordinating and participating in WOW 1 and WOW 2.  I thought of her every day; truth is, I think of her every day no matter where I am. We spoke this morning early as the wind moved through her chimes. I like standing really close and holding my hand near the chimes. I can feel her vibrations as she speaks with me this way. She's back in Austin now with us.

Lily is at volleyball camp this week at UT. She called last night and sounded very excited.

Tom

Looking for a Yard Person

First - best wishes to all for your 4th of July holidays. Don't ya just love it when a holiday like this falls mid-week!

Alright, I'm looking for suggestions for a company or person that maintains yards. We have 1.92 arces and it needs mowing and trimming now. Anyone local reading this - let me know.  Call and leave a message at 512-288-6851. I'm kinda slow in returning calls, just so you know. Or email at tom at 4webresults.com.

Ya'll take care now and enjoy yourself over the holidays. Tell someone today you love them.

My new mantra - live life fully.

Love
Tom

Pictures of the Past with Sharon

These are so wonderful. Pam Tischler just scanned them in and forwarded to me. Would like to share them with you.

Paul, Sharon, Fred, Pam and Justin 1984

Sharon as a clown (for real this time) and junior Spiderboy ... I mean Spiderman.

1985 - being her creative self - as always.

1985 - Sharon Parish with buddy Sharon Jacob

Sharon at Pam's 40th BD (who's the GUY???) I didn't hear this story.

Sharon and 'bubba' Justin. Aren't they cute?

Having some fun!

What Does Tom Do?

I received a note today from an old friend who hadn't connected with me in a long time. She knew Sharon and me since nearly the beginning of our relationship.

She wanted to know, what do I do now? It wasn't clear to her from reading the blog. This had come up in other emails over the last month so I figured, hey I'll answer that. Thanks, Donna Brown, for prompting me.  So while I'm here at Lauren and Ryan's place in Gavleston waiting for all the ladies to return from the wedding dress-hunting trip, I'll write you some notes on me.

I work for myself as an Internet Marketing Strategist. What's that mean and how did I get here? Well, I have a degree in electrical engineering from Texas A&M university-1976. I am a third-generation Aggie. Hope that doesn't give you any heartburn. I'm real proud of it and thank Mom and Dad for their support during those college years.

I've always been involved with leading-edge technology in the computer and network arena. I've stayed ahead of the curve best I could, as you can tell from using this blog. I'll save you the 25-year history version. You can learn more at my outdated resume site. Ten years as an IT manager at Motorola Semiconductor played a big part in my current knowledge about the Internet. I did a number of IT-related projects for Motorola marketing in 1996 for the Digital DNA campaign where we experimented with a number of ideas and approaches to using websites to create traffic and branding awareness. We ended up with a global audience of 22 million at its peak.

I have three specialities - search engine marketing, IT architectures and audio podcasting.   To start out, I help companies be more successful on the Internet by making their websites more visible in the search engines and improve the conversion of traffic into more sales (leads or downloads) after the traffic arrives. I'm sometimes refered to as a search engine optimization specialist. I have a partner now -- Donna Fulton -- and I'm so thankful for her partnership in helping grow the business. This last month has been a long slow "down" for me and she's been so patient for me to return myself to this part of the work.

There is a new Internet marketing strategy for making a company more visible in the search engines beyond keywords and links on pages. The new deal is blogging and other creative uses of RSS feeds. I love this part of the work.  I get to use my EE background and 15 years' experience in IT to help companies find a successful architecture (technology and people) to migrate their company into business blogging and podcasting and other uses for RSS feeds.  Visit my website at http://4webresults.com and check out my blog there. There are a ton of articles on these topics. There is a very useful self-paced educational course (free) at http://4webresults.com/education on traditional SEO stuff.

What else? I have been into audio all my life. So when audio podcasting hit the scene last  year I jumped in with both feet. In fact, Justin helped me create a beautiful audio studio here and I've produced at time up to 15 shows in a week for clients. I have 4 regular podcast shows and you can check them out at:

www.enterpriseleadership.org - sponsored by BMC Software
Talk.BMC.com - cohosted with Ynema Mangum - sponsored by BMC Software
www.Dbazine.com/podcasts - sponsored by BMC Software
www.TalkingPortraits.com - this is my show - I pick the guests
www.WimaxGlobalNews.com

(NOTE: I have a great deal of support and help with these shows.)

So, those are the things I do. I am very successful at helping companies (small, medium and large) grow on the Internet in these areas. I have years of experience in working with outsourced teams in the Ukraine, India and China, so I bring my people skills forward to sort out the issues between IT and marketing with distributed teams. I really like that end of things.

If you have other questions feel free to send me a private note. I hope this is helpful.

Appreciatively
Tom